Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Feeling Very Small

Last week, in our Compassion Discipleship Training School , I taught on the Nature and Character of God. This teaching, which I've undergone, over seven years ago, has shaped so much of who I am and what my life looks like today. Since then I've taught on this subject matter many times; at my church, retreats, conferences, etc. This subject matter has come up more so, in casual conversations, in rather random places; airport layovers, 30,000 ft about the Atlantic, coffee shops, FB chat, etc.
As I prepared for the weeks worth of teaching and taught the first day, I realized the magnitude to which the subject matter was flowing through me, every pore, every cell, through every sine wave, all frequencies...to define how God has let us define Him, love, I found myself on my knees, Tuesday morning. The weight of it all, my finite frame explaining the very nature and character of the Creator of the Universe, Alpha and Omega...I think you get the picture.
At the end of the week, I found myself leaning on the thoughts of love. The beauty found in the simplicity, for us the recipients, the complexities, to the one giving...and we get to love Him back. I was 13 and I had seen her all week long. It was the last day, hot summer day, and my last chance. Our interaction was like that of a dancing butterfly and a flower. It seemed as if the butterfly would land permanently on the pedals, but at the last minute, would release into the air, dancing, up and down. My heart pounded, sweat on my brow, I had to tell her. But what of the risk, the risk of putting myself out here, open and vulnerable..."is there any other way?" I thought. No, to love is to risk...I walked up to her and I opened my mouth.


John, Carla & Rae Shaw said...

Aaaahhhh, and you stopped! You better not wait so long to finish this one!

Oh wait, I can come bug you for the rest of the story!

BTW, you did an excellent job teaching. Thank you all you did. Your heart for God really shone through!

Brittany Deniston said...

I love hearing things straight from your heart!

stardusx said...

whoa whoa whoa!!! why'd you stop!??!?!!? such a tease with your stories!

is that a quilt hanging from the ceiling? it's beautiful!

jeremyPRICE said...

did you kiss her?